Choosing child care is never easy. There are always fears - too many to list. Things you never think of come up and freak you out and keep you up at night and then you start to question what you’re doing and… It’s safe to say it’s a downward spiral.
NYC is notorious for wait lists at schools and daycare centers. There are stories of needing to be on a list before you conceive. Awesome, right? One more joy of living in the city that never sleeps. So to start the process, I turned to friends.
First, I talked with friends about what to expect - what’s it like dropping off, how much does it cost - that sort of thing. Most of these friends lived in suburban areas so I knew it wasn’t going to be exactly the same. Next, I started talking to moms who lived near me, which is to say, I talked to one mom.
While NYC is vast and has everything you could ever possibly want - Broadway; the Yankees (or the Mets in our house); vegan fast food; Indian, Colombian, Korean food all within blocks of each other - and 24 hour public transportation. And accessibility is one of the reasons we choose to live here, daycare is something you want close to home. No one in their right mind WANTS to schlep a baby on the subway at rush hour. No one.
In my neighborhood, the options for daycare were limited to in home centers. This means the number of kids is small because the facility is in someone’s home. Yes, there are traditional centers (larger facility, more kids, organized by age) nearby, but none that would take a 3 month old AND were within walking distance of the apartment and the train. There was no way I was driving.
My friend recommended the daycare where all 3 of her kids had gone. She had been with the owner as the facility began and spoke highly of the care. We scheduled a tour and liked it. I was ready to sign the papers right then and there, but John had reservations. (I was tired and pregnant…) And this is where the number one rule comes in when choosing a daycare.
TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS
John was right. The woman was all smoke and mirrors, shady and greedy (babies and infants bring in more $ than toddlers). I won’t go into all the gory details, but will say this much: we learned a lot.
1. Look at the way the staff interacts. There should be a healthy working relationship. If you see something that makes you uncomfortable, chances are the staff feels it too. And that will trickle down to the kids.
2. Any time you have a question, the staff should be able to answer. If you know your child hasn’t been feeling well or eating well and you tell someone in the morning, when you arrive to pick up, the staff should know your concerns and be able to report on it.
3. Staff should never blame you for not cutting food small enough.
4. If you talk to friends about these types of things, and they assure you that they never have these issues, chances are something needs to change. And you might have to be the one to change daycares.
After 9 months, we pulled the plug. Coverage at the daycare in the morning during drop off was spotty at best. Staff was turning over frequently and we weren’t being notified. Things got to the point where we had to investigate our other options.
One weekend, I searched the New York State Office of Children and Family Services website for daycares in our neighborhood. I placed calls to them all. Isabel called me right back and we arranged a tour. I remember picking up PJ from the old place and walking the mile to Isabel’s. It poured. I don’t think I had an umbrella (if I did, it was no use) and I was soaked by the time we got there. Isabel welcomed us into her home and business.
Something clicked for me. Isabel is kind and loving. She talked with me for a long time. She even gave PJ fresh berries to snack on. I was in heaven.
Not wanting to make the same mistake twice, I scheduled a tour for John. He really liked it too.
I did a little more research on my local Meetup group. The daycare came highly recommended and the moms I spoke with talked about how happy their kids were there. Like they were going to a favorite Aunt’s house to visit. How Isabel prepared great, organic food. How everyone was like family.
As we made the transition, Isabel was responsive to my requests, such as having a daily sheet to share with us on how long PJ slept, what she ate and how many diaper changes she had. This is common at centers, but not necessarily at an in home facility. She regularly sends me photos or videos of PJ playing. She texts me reminders about needing diapers so that I don’t forget. Little things that make it easier on me to leave PJ there each day and not feel (too) guilty.
In turn, I have recommended her and her business to random strangers at the park and expecting friends.
PJ has been there for a year now. She has regular play dates with her friends. She is socializing with kids her own age and with kids who are older. I mention this because an unanticipated outcome has been the strides she has taken in learning new words, letters, colors, numbers, and songs. I’m not a Tiger Mom. I don’t need her studying Cantonese now, but it’s pretty cool to see her growing and learning by being with her peers.
The love expressed by Isabel and her staff is evident every day. The learning that is happening, both structured through activities and what happens naturally and organically, puts me at ease. It makes it worth it.
No comments:
Post a Comment