I sing. I went to school for music and I continue to sing in choirs. It has always been a great release for me.
When PJ was born, I took a few months off. I tried to go back after I stopped nursing, but the guilt from being away from her was too great. Several months ago, I started singing with a new choir near the apartment. With rehearsals at 7PM just a few blocks away, I have been able to come home, see PJ, and eat dinner with the family before going back out.
This next concert is full of Broadway hits. Many I have never sung before. Some I sang in high school. And then there are those songs which I sort of know but have never sung.
I missed a few rehearsals and had yet to read through "Sunrise, Sunset" from Fiddler on the Roof. Obviously I know the tune, who doesn't? But I had never read or sung the complete words.
Last night, as I sat in rehearsal, I got tears in my eyes as I sang "I don't remember growing older, when did they?"
All at once, I felt time slipping through my fingers. I remembered that 7lb baby I birthed. I remember her firsts - the moment she first looked into my eyes, her first steps, her first strawberry, her first popsicle. And I think back on how much life has changed in those 2 years. It is safe to say I will be a blubbering mess when she gets married.
Once again, music served as a way to reflect and take stock in all that I have been blessed with.
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