As long as John and I have been living together, we have tried to eat dinner together. From those early days, sitting on the futon using a single TV tray, to the days of eating at our upgraded hand-me-down coffee table, to our current situations where we have room enough for a small table and some chairs, we have made it a priority to eat together. Cooking came later.
My cooking ability began simply enough with a few Rachael Ray cookbooks. And little by little we got more adventurous. The year I joined a CSA things definitely changed. Eating fresh vegetables right from the farm is incredible. And I was lucky - John went along for the ride.
Our menus were simple. Pasta, Mexican Monday (aka easy quesadillas), sauteed chicken with rice and broccoli, and then a mash-up of whatever vegetables came that week. And don’t forget Chinese take out (which for us is “order-in”). This continued until PJ arrived.
There was no time for me to cook anymore. As an infant, PJ could take up to 40 minutes to nurse. In the earliest days, she could finish and be hungry again in an hour. I was miserable until we figured out her latch and a schedule that worked for both of us. All this is to say that the burden of preparing all meals fell to John.
Here’s where I should mention that John was with me for my ENTIRE maternity leave. As a teacher, he had the summer off. Those three months were glorious. The three of us snuggling, napping, going for walks, playing. (It should be noted that we didn’t plan it this way, but I’ve been tempted to plan #2 to be born in May/June so we could do it again.) And John did everything - grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning, errands, driving. And there were moments when he would hold up some unknown (to him) veggie and ask, “What do I do with this?”
Our entire food plan is dictated by NYC living, meaning there is no room for extra stuff. Our refrigerator is on the smaller side. We don’t have a pantry. In fact, up until a few months ago, we only had one work space about two feet long. And our kitchen is large compared to most!
We have to plan our meals. We buy the ingredients we need for the week, make the meals, and then plan for the next week. Rinse, lather, repeat…
The CSA veggies caused John, and to some extent me, some anxiety. Would we use it all before it goes bad? It also meant we couldn’t plan exactly what to buy since we never knew until Tuesday what veggies were coming. We ate a lot of sauteed greens…
As the end of the summer neared, and John was headed back to school, PJ to daycare, and me to work, we knew our leisurely meals were over. I started to freak out. When would the laundry be done? How would I be able to cook and watch PJ? Would I ever cook again if there was always a baby at my boob? And what about those nights when I had to pick up and make dinner and nurse and give her a bath and …
Somehow we ate. I’m pretty sure it was quesadillas and pasta every night. I guess with John training for a marathon and my incredible breastfeeding caloric consumption, we survived. And somewhere along the line, PJ started solids. At that point we all started eating better.
I took on the task of making all of her food from scratch. I loved it. We ate sweet potato and squash and green beans and all sorts of healthy things. I also would make her a meal that we all could eat. For me, this was the best. As soon as she outgrew purees and moved onto table foods, I was stressing again about what to eat and we ended up in a rut again.
There were two turning points for us. First, we joined a meat CSA. All of a sudden, we had to get creative with meat. We started trying recipes we wouldn’t otherwise make. We built menus around random cuts - pork belly anyone? We had a constant supply of bacon and steaks. John took to using the broiler, me to the crockpot. I think it’s safe to say I have never in my life ever eaten as much red meat as during this period of a few months!
The other turning point was meeting Jenny Rosenstrach of Dinner: A Love Story and reading her book. I heard her speak and felt a great weight lifted and perspective was gained. If you’re not familiar with her blog, please go check it out. Her philosophy is simple - good meals, as a family, chaotic and delicious. She helped me realize a couple of things.
- Even though I am not cooking every meal, my planning and prepping contributes to the meal.
- It’s unrealistic to have a family meal every night with schedules being what they are these days.
- The fact that PJ eats most everything and sits with us is a major accomplishment. Not every kids will do that, nor should they. And for me it’s a small victory and something to raise a toast to!
- She’s got some incredibly simple and tasty meals like porcupine meatballs and burrito bowls.
This is what family meals (at least dinner) look like in our home. What do they look like in yours?
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